Your tips for coping

Chris, London

Firstly, isn't it encouraging to see how widespread the problem is and most of us are leading pretty good lives I imagine. We're stuck with it for the time being though, so I mitigate it as best I can with success.

It's definitely worse when i'm tired. Therefore plenty of rest, no alcohol or stimulants in the evening which may interrupt sleep. A good Radox bath beforehand if I fancy it.

Meditation. This taught me to relax which of course is handy anyway. But also I learnt to picture my mind as a big blue sky, and any thought as a drifting cloud (stay with me!). I learnt that I do not have to watch the cloud go across the sky and try to make a picture out of it; I can just let it drift on by.

Support. I am a christian and therefore get my strength and courage from the Bible. This is obviously not for everyone, but think about what does give you strength and courage?

Music. Oh the simple things in life. "Cafe del Mar" by Energy 52 will pick up my spirits time and time again. The thoughts that had been going round and round in circles before are nowhere to be seen.

Sam, UK

I am so bloody happy after reading this. It's not just me. I thought I was going blooming crazy. I've taken a piece of all bits of your advice and it's really worked for me.

Everyone was laughing at me, I thought, but in hindsight not at all. Self esteem has so much to do with it. Value yourself. Corny but so true. And when u have a wierd thought that someone is out to humilate/do you wrong etc, it's hardly ever the case, you just assume they will because you have lack of respect in yourself or think u deserve it. Or bad experiences. Think about all the healthy, fun relationships you have. Put negativity aside. Negativity breeds negativity. Sorry for a long ramble!! Just being positive x

Jane, Canada

Don't act on your paranoia. I use to do that with my family thinking they are all criminals and out to get me..I use to treat them bad, not talk to them,ignore them when they talked to me. I was so rude to them now that I think back...I have used many of the tips above to cope and find that it takes a lot of work. always thinking and pushes those negative thoughts away..but I'm better...

Stephen, Scotland

I have suffered from paranoia for years. It got to the stage where i could not go out the house for weeks at a time.

I have since stopped drinking and am on anti depressants and have slowly been getting my health back.

one thing i'd like to say to people that suffer paranoia is: to never give up and if you run away from it like i did for years it will only get worse. Never give up on yourself.

Michael, USA

I've been struggling with paranoia for years, and high school doesn't make it any easier to cope with. Not having the best of friends for a support system also doesn't make it easy either. I've tried some of the typical "covering" the thought techniques. Like, when I hear people laughing and I instantly think it's about me. I try to convince myself that they're not talking about me, or even try to join in on their conversation.

I've also tried to rely on those who I think I can trust when situations seem too intense or rough for me. I'm naturally a withdrawn person (thanks in part to my paranoia and other issues) so I try to overcome this as well and fight the paranoia as it rises. It's a hard battle to win, but good luck to everyone else in the world struggling!

Catherine, USA

My focus here is more on "clinical paranoia" than 'everyday/common paranoia'.

When the paranoid feeling strikes, I try to get the facts by calling up, or meeting, people. This is difficult but helps.

Also I found the ten laws of overcoming paranoia in the below link to be the best I have come across.
http://www.bipolarworld.net/Bipolar%20Disorder/Articles/art35.htm

Those interested further can explore the following yahoo group.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/paranoidpersonalitydisorderforum

Robert, USA

"You'd worry less what others thought of you when you realize how seldom they do."

This clever quotation, which I think is from Oscar Wilde but maybe not, opened my eyes to the flip-side of paranoia: self-aggrandizement. It helped me to see that paranoid thoughts contain a seed of grandiosity, the belief that the people around me have nothing better to do with their free time than focus on me-me-me, and how dissatisfied they are with my behavior and appearance and commentary.

Whenever I get paranoid I contemplate this quotation, and find relief in the conclusion that I'm not quite that important.

Pete, UK

These are really helpful tips and I thank all of you.

I have fought against paranoia by simply telling myself that whatever is happening.. it's not the case, although that can be the hardest thing to do - making yourself believe the opposite of what your brain already believes.

The idea that people are going to hurt me are omnipresent, and it has been made a lot worse due to drugs; although I recognised that this started from an early age and was not completely caused by drug abuse.

It begun from insecurities in early age, such as fears of people, and eventually was triggered to a full extent by events in my life that turned it all around.

It's so easy for the brain to become confused with this all. But I find it's much easier for me to step back, put myself in the shoes of others and, most of all, in my own and look at everything without being clouded by paranoid thoughts.

I now try and make sure I think about things before acting, because too many times before I acted upon suspicious thoughts and it ended up backfiring on me. I put myself in the position that people aren't all out there to hurt me, or whatever. And even if they do, I can carry on and still be happy. It's a big task but it's the only way.

I find myself fighting back these thoughts instead of fighting back people now. And this way is much more rewarding, not only for me but for my friends too - who now I trust more and feel better with.

Rhiannon, USA

You have to remember to live your life the best you can. Being paranoid all the time is a disease, i know I deal with it everyday. I just try to remember the more important things in life and I have a friend who does not judge me and I talk to him about it which really helps when you can not to a friend and not some shrink you dont really know. I have been told I need to be put on antidepressants but I dont do pills and if I can avoid it I will as long as possible. Like I said you just have to think of the more important things in life. God, kids, husband, boyfriend, dog. Whatever makes you happy thats what you should think about during those times. I have also found it helps to take up a hobby. For example I paint and cross stitch. I find they calm my nerves. I have also learned having some sort of animal around helps to cause no matter how crazy you think you are or you think everybody else thinks you are they dont judge and they love you no matter who you are.

Ryan, USA

When u get to the point in your paranoia when u start to doubt yourself on things u know 4 sure and start to warp your beliefs on somthing u are sure of u have let it(paranoia) get to far. the only thing u can do is start to re-establish ur beliefs and knowledge that u use 2 live by and think by. i am in the process of doing this so i know what ur going through. it does not help that i have a photographic memory so i remember most everything and cant just forget about the paranoia. hope this helped.

Katherine, USA

Identifying the thought as a paranoid thought is the first step! Once this awareness is built, then you can move on to the second step that involves thought challenging. Think of the paranoid thought as being said by a third party whose job in life is to make your life miserable. Then, find the evidence to disprove those "thought statements". This is like being a lawyer and gathering the evidence! Remember, who has the power over your thoughts? You do!

James, London

I am lucky enough, like many here to recognise the fact that I am paranoid. I am unlucky enough however to be suffering it in such a way that it is having an adverse affect on day to day life. It tends to stem from lack of contact from friends, or friends having other things to do that don't include me. For example, a friend has time off, and decides quite rightfully too, that he wishes to spend the majority of that time doing things himself that he needs to do. I on the other hand feel that he is avoiding me. When I sit and think about it, I can realise that in fact that is not the case, but then in turn, I question that too. It becomes a cycle that goes round and round, leaving me stuck in a rut.

I was (in reality) betrayed in an incredible way in recent years that resulted in me loosing a lot, including my liberty, friends, job etc. I can see my paranoia has certainly stemmed form this point. I have to remember. When I call someone, and they don’t answer, they are busy, or out. Not avoiding me. If I ask to meet a mate of mine, and he says no, I don’t want to, or cant. It doe not mean they hate me, or are plotting against me.

The only thing I can try and do for now is tell myself I am a good person. I have many friends. People are not anti me.

The worst thing about paranoia, and hypersensitivity, as I also have symptoms of, is that the very best friends that are trying to help me, and do support me, I risk driving away due to the way I am. Paranoia then comes in again with vengeance, making me think that I am going to loose a friend. I then worry non stop that this may be the case, and the worry does not stop until I see them, or speak to them. Needless to say, that "Will call you on weekend" is no good. LOL. Paranoia leaves you needing to know NOW. There it is again. You don't need to know. You would like to know. Wait until the weekend.!

I know over time it will get better. Positive thoughts. Friends that care and time. Talking does help. I pick a friend I can trust. Someone who knows I suffer, even knows I get paranoid about them. Tell them your worries. They will help.

James, Canada

When I started to feel stressed out and unusually paranoid, I recognized there was a problem and began to research the issue.

I found the following very helpful.

1. A more healthy diet including a daily multi vitamin with B complex for an overall improvement in feeling of well being. The multi vitamin included inositol and selenium for general mental health. Also, tryptophan (found in Turkey) was helpful in producing calmness and feelings of well being. (Of course avoid alcohol abuse and recreational drug use).

2. Cognitive therapy - Write down negative thoughts and challenge them. Develop a routine that challenges negative thoughts and begin reciting more positive terms and thoughts daily. Gain comfort in thinking about friends, family or other positive aspects of your life to block out negative thoughts.

3. Regular exercise to relieve stress and develop feelings of well being. Yoga and breathing exercises are helpful.

Overall, I think everyone has paranoid thoughts at times. But if you are having physical reactions like anxiety or a reduced overall feeling of well being, it is important to challenge these thoughts and make sure your body and mind has the diet and exercise it needs to maintain good overall health.

Michelle, Newcastle

Try to remember that many people love you and need you and ask yourself why they need you. There are other things out there worse than paranoia. Paranoia can be combated. If it isn't you often end up driving the ones you love away.

Helen, Manchester

Firstly and most importantly, quit the drug abuse if that's the case.

Secondly, it's good to read around the subject to understand it. for example, I recently read somewhere that paranoia is caused by the chemical imbalance caused by drug abuse.

In any case, what this helped me realise (though i kind of already knew it) that the paranoia was not real. when i was in the city centre (on a sat), i wasn't paranoid because i knew the anxiety was caused by the chemical imbalance, so i ignored it. it's also good to be accompanied by someone who you trust/feel comfortable around with and who knows your problem.

i also read that the paranoia is more induced by your insecurities, therefore, it's a good idea to get rid of those insecurities by facing them. ie, if you're overweight, then lose weight until you're comfortable... just don't overdo it.

organise your life more so that you can control your environment. if you know you're going out to a social event (and you will act paranoid) then do some exercises before to increase the serotonins in your brain. (how much you do is up to you but i find the more active, the better).

and of course, increase the amount of hobbies you have. preferably sports! (it's healthy and increases your serotonins). start off with relaxed hobbies then move onto more active ones. or start off with hobbies with less people then move onto more socially active hobbies (ie, football). that way, you'll come to meet and trust the peers and become less paranoid.

in a social event (ie, bar), when you're feeling trapped, excuse yourself, go to the toilet. take a breather and think about what you can say to make conversation. now go out there and do it!! you'll find the people aren't actually out to get you once you find they're just as friendly.

maybe it's true they're talking about you behind your back. but think about this at the end of the day, "so like, what's the worst they can do to hurt me?" they could stab you but that's very unlikely and you know it.

so go out there and enjoy life!!!

Angela, Yorkshire

When ever you have the thoughts or feelings that something awful is about to occur

1. think to yourself do i want to sit here and think to myself i am going to die or am i going to live my life to the full and then you should feel a little reassured

2. get out in the world and do something you love to do it always gets things off your mind

3.talk to your family and tell them how you feel instead of spending a fortune on professional help

try these tips that help me maybe it will work for you :)

Susanna, Liverpool.

Tip:

I am so sad to read these sad stories and to recognise some of them.

Check out whether what you believe is the only possible version of events. Why else that unusual event might have happened? (Think of explanations that don’t involve you)

You could well be right – so what have you got to lose? Look for evidence why your theory might be wrong – look for things that don’t fit with what you think is happening – look for alternative explanations that don’t involve you.

If you only look for evidence why your version of events is “right” you will probably find lots of it – we can always justify anything if we try - so look for the opposite, what would prove it wrong? Give your theory a really good kick. Make it work hard to justify its existence.

Be like a scientist. Scientists are always having to check out new theories. If they don’t look for what doesn’t “fit” their pet theory, someone else is only going to come along and do it for them, so they have to be professional sceptics. They have to “kick the tyres” of their new theories. Lots of new theories turn out to be wrong.

For ideas about how to “kick the tyres” of a theory, see the astrophysicist Carl Sagan's “Baloney Detection Kit” at: http://www.carlsagan.com – see under Ideas

Other things to do, if you can't change the situation, ask yourself:

What is it about this situation that makes me angry?

Is this worth getting angry about?

Is my anger useful and does it help me achieve a goal or does it just get in my way?

List the advantages and disadvantages of getting angry about (whatever it is)

For example: advantages:

• I feel justified
• it's not fair
• why is society picking on me
• I have done nothing wrong

Disdavantages:

• I don't know for sure if this is fact or fantasy
• worrying about it is tiring me out
• I might end up hating myself if I kept spending a lot of time thinking that others thought I was a horrible person – do I want to risk that? Is it worth it?

Positive consequences of eliminating my anger:

• I'll be more cheerful
• I'll feel better
• I won't spend time worrying
• I'll be calm and rational
• I won't be afraid of people
• I'll respect myself more

(From the chapter on anger in David Burns' Feeling Good)

If you are tired or stressed in a situation:

You have the right to say: “I am really tired or stressed today and I really need go outside for a breath of fresh air right now” or “I really need to go home early today”

Mood Gym: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au Information, quizzes, games and skills training to help prevent depression

Paul, Portsmouth, UK

I have struggled with paranoia for a while, mostly thinking that people around me joke about me when I am in ear shot and generally don’t like. Also that my close friends are always slagging me off just for their enjoyment.

At the moment I am in a good mood and after reading accounts from different websites. I am starting to realize that it may be my own self esteem that is lacking, I have just found this website that is very interesting and personally I think it will help me a great deal for the future. So my tip...http://www.prometheusinstitute.net/opinion/jh92006.htm

Michelle, Hull.

One thing is to remember your good sense of humour, it comes when you’re healing your life!

Kitty, Australia

Tip: herbal remedies! go to your nearest pharmacy and ask for something that calms tension and stress but isnt habit forming. I find they alert that otherwise smothered part of my brain that says: "come on, that's stupid. Take it easy!" to all the stupid paranoid thoughts that I get. It helps to take them when you feel the onset of an "attack" of paranoia, rather than waiting for it to become "fully blown". Also a nice long foot spa. And watching a romantic comedy :)

Fiona, Canada

My tips to help improve your negative thoughts:

1. I try to think of a positive for every negative thought that pops unwillingly into my head.

2. To stay calm I try to be rational to myself. I think things like, "that's not true, think this instead." Deep down you know what's right, right? Believe in that part of you more!

3. Plans. Having a full and busy day can make you too tired to get crazy with your imagination, and you feel great because you accomplished some goals.

4. Distractions. If you get really stressed, leave the room. Always know that you can just leave and take a breather. Go to the washroom, and splash your face with some water and you're refreshed. Also, varying distractions, such as watching tv for a short while, then reading, surfing the net... etc... can really make me relaxed.

5. Even if you're not open with your family about your issues, always remember that these people are there. You have a support system that doesn't even know how much you appreciate their support. It's a comfort, love it.

Good luck to all of us in solving our challenges! :)

Margaret, Slovenia

If I get paranoid and feel unsafe wherever I am in the middle of the night, even in my own apartment, I remind myself that it is the "horror-movie" scenes that I associate with walking around at night and something bad happening to me.

If I feel that I am being observed watched by others, or even laughed at, I remind myself that there is a perfectly logical and more probable explanation for the laughter coming from a few feet away, for example a joke or a funny incident.

If I get self-conscious about a guy I met and what he thinks of me, I try to remind myself that my doubts originate from some bad experience in the past. I evaluate the situation and usually find that "there is nothing to be worried about".

Mel, Malaysia

A few things I do to keep myself sane...

1. Focus on happy things in life e.g. holidays, play with kids, discover technology

2. Pamper yourself. e.g. get your self an ipod.

3. Keep yourself busy.

4. Stay away from things that make you paranoid for at least two weeks and come back to deal with it later.

5. Have a good friend or supporter.

6. Give.